If you can give me only one tip to improve my life, what would it be?

The Power of Delaying Defeat

The other day, in one of my chess classes, a 6-year-old student suddenly burst into tears. It wasn’t the first time I had encountered such a situation; after all, teaching young children often means navigating their emotions as much as their learning curves.

I gently approached him, lowering myself to his eye level. "Hey, what happened? Please tell me so I can help you," I asked softly. But he only kept sobbing, his tiny frame shaking with frustration.

Finally, between the sobs, he managed to say, "I'm not getting it... I don't know how to solve this... It’s so hard for me." His disappointment was palpable, not just with the game, but with himself.

In that moment, I saw more than just a child struggling with a chess puzzle. I saw someone experiencing the very human emotion of self-doubt, something we all face, no matter our age. I knew I had to be careful with my words.

I put a hand on his shoulder and said, "It’s not your fault. Stop crying, okay? Today is just one bad day, and that’s okay. I know you, and I know you’ll overcome this phase. Right now, just try to understand what’s happening. Recognize it."

He looked up at me, his tears slowing down as he listened. I knew I had to give him something more—a piece of advice that he could carry with him beyond this one game.

"Listen," I continued, "sometimes, when you feel like giving up, it’s important to procrastinate that feeling. Don’t let quitting be your first option. Instead, delay it. Turn over every stone, try every possibility. If you keep pushing forward, you might just find a way through. We all go through tough times, each in our own way. But giving up too soon often leads to regret."

His eyes widened a little, absorbing the words. Maybe he didn’t fully grasp it at that moment, but I knew it was a seed that would grow with him.

By the end of the class, he had stopped crying, and though he hadn’t solved the puzzle, he left with a little more confidence. Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that it’s okay to struggle, as long as we don’t give up on ourselves.