Is your therapist very knowledgeable about trauma? Does their level of knowledge matter to you and is psychoeducation about trauma a part of your therapy?

She is knowledgeable enough, but to be honest, in some respects, I am probably more informed. But then again, I have taken to religiously figuring out as much as I can about trauma in the hopes that knowledge will help me untangle my brain a bit. It's become a bit of a mission (and a prospective career switch).

T did have some trauma training, but I obviously posed a challenge in just how… deep things went, how difficult even the most basic of grounding techniques could be, how inaccessible my body. I remember the day, about six months in when qi gave her something to read and she looked at me and said “I've been asking you where in your body you are feeling things, and only now did I realize that maybe you just don't feel anything at all.” I am quite certain that the different trauma trainings she took last year were at least partly directed by stuckness between us. I have since noticed a strong increase in pdychoeducation, and a slight increase in directiveness.

But, above all, T is a good therapist. And honestly, that makes all the difference. She's client centered, which made her safe. That is the essence. I live in a country where a clinical psychology degree is all you need to be a therapist. There are trauma therapists who have that degree plus an EMDR course or two and who've never had their own therapy. I'd rather have someone without the psychology degree, but a decent therapy training, maybe little trauma training but a willingness to learn. To me, the basic therapy skills is where the work starts - and mastering those well, requires having done your own work.