Can you give me an example of a sentence that needs editing, and explain what needs to be fixed?

How about several examples? I have four file folders full of errors, most of them in the writing on the Internet.

WORD CHOICE from: What You Should Know About Copywriting

“It may be insurance, real estate and even a plot at the cemetery and the copywriter has to know how to appeal to the target audience in the sales letter.”

It may be insurance, real estate or even a cemetery plot, so the copywriter has to know how to appeal to the target audience in the sales letter.

The message is not about all three but about one of the three. Thus, “or” is more accurate.

The use of “so” instead of “and” makes more sense and better conveys the message.

“[I]t depends on you and the needs of the clients you are trying to service.”

[I]t depends on you and the needs of the clients you intend to serve.

People don’t “service” others. When we provide a specific service, we serve the clients or customers.

The use of “are trying to” is often a lame choice. You either are or you are not. There’s no in-between.

“If you go to work for an advertising agency, you will more than likely have to either take a copywriting course or have extensive experience.”

If you intend to work for an advertising agency, it’s likely you will have to either take a copywriting course or have extensive experience.

An ad agency, one of several businesses using copywriters, may require exceptional skill or experience, so the message is ‘if you intend to work” for one, then it’s likely you’d need the course or prior experience. The use of “more than” is redundant.

EXCERPT FROM LETTER BY ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PRINCIPAL, NYS, WIVB.com, circa 2011

“Our goal to help each child become an intelligent person of character.

Our goal is to help each child become an intelligent person of character.

Each staff in our building plays an important role in that process and looks forward to working with you to accomplish that end.”

Each staff member in our building plays an important role in that process and looks forward to working with you to accomplish that.

“Staff” is one unit comprised of many members.

Best way to use “that end” is at the beginning as in: To that end, each staff member…

PUNCTUATION from: http://work.lifegoesstrong.com/print/7-spelling-and-grammar-errors-make-you-look-dumb

“This one is confusing, because generally, in addition to being used in contractions, an apostrophe indicates ownership. . .”

This one is confusing because, generally, in addition to being used in contractions, an apostrophe indicates ownership. . .

Set apart the extra word —- “generally” —- with a pair of commas.

An extra phrase also is set apart by commas. The main sentence is “This one is confusing because an apostrophe indicates owners.” The extra phrase —- “in addition to being used in contractions” —- is also set apart with a pair of commas.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be discerning about what you accept as correct writing when reading online text. More often than not, it has phraseology, word choice, and/or punctuation errors. Using a comprehensive, easy-to-understand usage guide and a thesaurus on a regular basis will give you better writing than using anything online as a guide.