Is it possible for someone to keep their name out of the obituaries after they die?

Is it possible for someone to keep their name out of the obituaries after they die?

Yeah.

Don’t die.

But first, don’t do anything worth noting.

Orbits (or “Promotions to Glory”/Post Humorous Brag Sessions) aren’t put in the paper for no-bodies. There sort of the “Who’s Who” of the “Was that Were’s”.

However, orbits aren’t required by law to be published, written or otherwise. They are just a lie story family publish to cover up what a sod he was in life. No evil or bad person ever died…..apparently.

On the other hand, death and funeral notices might be another thing.

Funeral notices are put in the paper by the Fun Directors to advice of the impending party being held in honour of the dearly departed.

I definitely am planning a fun time. In fact it will be such a great party I’m even planning to attend. And I’m an introvert.

Don’t want a funeral? That can be arranged. Just arrange for a skip. Or box if you’re really cheap.

Or just arrange for a few mates to do what you actually want. Arrange a few slabs of beer in advance.

But there is no legal requirement to advertise you ‘ave passed on, not just pining.

(Word of warning, the dearly departed must be disposed of in accordance with State and local laws, no just leaving him propped up at the traffic lights for the council to clean up, or getting Dozer Dan’s Bobcat and digging a hole down the beach or at his favourite fishing hole. )

Death notices are a legal thing. Apparently it is illegal to be dead without filling in the prerequisite forms and paying the required fees. However, there is no requirement to advertise the fact you are dead. So once you have shuffled off this mortal coil you can do so quietly and without advising anyone that you aren’t here anymore. Leave ’em wondering, so you can have the laugh laugh when you singing in the celestial choir.

I want to go out like this, only sitting up giving the bird (Norwegian blue?) to passes by. Screw the orbits, the funeral notices, and death notices….I’m going out like I came in…screaming.