What do you wish you were better at?

I wish I were better at reaching out.

I moved from my home country to study abroad about 8 years ago. Miles away from my family and childhood friends, social media became the only practical means of communication. In my 8 years in Russia, I have also had friends and acquaintances who relocated. Some moved out of the country upon graduation, and others migrated to different cities.

The problem, however, is that I struggle to keep up with online communication.

I think about my friends very often and my family even more often. I want to know how they’re faring with life. I want to catch up with them and have those lengthy conversations punctuated with hearty laughter.

I want to reach out to them, but then I procrastinate.

“I’ll call them tomorrow”, I tell myself. Tomorrow comes, and then I shift it to the weekend; “They’re probably busy on the weekdays”. Weekend rolls by, and I still don’t make the call… and so the cycle continues.

I have a weekly appointment with my immediate family. We hop on a group call every Sunday evening, and sometimes, that’s the only time I hear from my parents and siblings the entire week. It’s terrible, I know, but I promise you, I think about them the entire week. I just don’t reach out:(

It’s worse with my friends. I haven’t spoken with some of my “close buddies” in months. When we eventually link up, I open the conversation with an apology before anything else. Thankfully, they seem to understand, or at least, I hope they do. We’re all adulting, and sometimes, it can be a lot.

I’m not making excuses, though. I know I have to do better, and I’m working on it. I might need to draw up a “check-up roster” or engage in a “check-up marathon”. If you have better ideas, I’m open to suggestions.

I honestly wish I was better at checking up on people I care about.