How do I increase my cognitive capacity?

Hey, ever feel like your brain's stuck in first gear? Yeah, me too. There've been days when I swear my head's just full of TV static.

So listen, I've been trying to soup up my mental engine for a while now. And boy, have I done some dumb stuff along the way. Like that time I thought I'd get smart by basically becoming a walking coffee pot. Spoiler: it didn't work, and I couldn't sleep for a week.

But hang on, 'cause I've picked up some tricks that actually do the job:

• Catch those Z's. For real, your brain cells'll throw a party.

• Get your butt moving. Yeah, yeah, I know. But trust me, your brain digs it when you break a sweat.

• Do something totally off-the-wall. I tried juggling. I sucked big time, but my brain was all 'Hey, this is kinda cool!'

• Munch on the good stuff. Ditch the junk and feed your noggin some proper fuel.

• Chill out, would ya? I get it, life's crazy. But your brain works way better when it's not freaking out 24/7.

Oh, and get this - I stumbled on this thing called The Genius Wave. It's like CrossFit for your brain, but you just slap on some headphones. Sounds bonkers, right? But no kidding, after giving it a go, I was cooking up decent ideas and even remembering where I left my keys. Go figure!

Look, don't expect to wake up tomorrow as some big-brain genius or anything. This brain-boosting gig is more of a slow burn. But stick with it, and who knows? You might just surprise the pants off yourself with what that noodle of yours can do!