How does one overcome bad habits?

I'm writing this to save you from wasting years of your life trying to quit, just like I did. (I've posted this on other subreddits as well to help as many people as possible)

But first, let me give you a quick introduction- 2 and a half years ago, I decided to improve my life. With that I realized that I unfortunately had multiple addictions- porn, phone addiction, junk food/sugar, video games, binging TV shows, etc.

Now, allow me to flex.

About 540 days ago, I watched porn for the last time in my life.

At the start of this year, my screen time went officially from 8 hours to 30 minutes.

I also decided to go sugar-free (added sugars) 8 months ago to test myself (and I'm still successful)

And finally, I can confidently say that I have understood everything necessary to break free from bad habits/addictions. I barely even get any cravings anymore. Keep in mind it wasn't always like this- I went through the same struggles you face and made mistakes on my journey.

I hope this helps as much as it would've helped me a couple of years ago, but anyways here's EVERYTHING I learnt after successfully breaking free from my addictions:

1- Gradual decrease > Cold turkey

A while after I quit my porn addiction, I came across a video of a guy explaining that completely quitting all at once isn't going to work. It made sense. I started to reflect back and realized that with every streak I held, the amount of days I abstained kept increasing and increasing, up until I could stop for 30 days comfortably, at which point I quit for good.

So basically, I unknowingly used a gradual decrease, and it worked.

It makes sense- your brain wouldn't be used to having absolutely no dopamine spikes after being used to experiencing dopamine rushes for the past couple of years of your life.

Then, I implemented this principle to quit my phone addiction and junk food.

I do think I could have quit a lot quicker if I maintained a written plan and tracked my indulgences rather than having a rough idea. It might sound weird to 'schedule' your next relapse but instead think of it as achieving small goals of abstaining, that in the long run, will lead to you becoming free. I think a gradual decrease over a couple of months will work.

2- PURPOSE

People think that discipline is the most important thing when it comes to quitting, but it isn't. I realized that there was a technique that was much more effective than resisting cravings.

And that is- getting rid of the craving in the first place.

Yes, it is possible to eliminate, or at least drastically reduce, the amount of urges you get. How do I know this? Because I've done it myself. I can't say for sure that I NEVER get cravings, but finding purpose in life has 100% worked for me.

Think about why you want to live your life (hard question- I know haha) and be as ambitious as possible. For example, I want to become a successful entrepreneur who can change the lives of many people while becoming financially free.

Now, you might think doing this is irrelevant, but please stick with me on this one. Here's the thing; I was trying to quit my addictions, but I didn't know WHY I was trying.

Your brain will not give up your addictions unless it realizes that there is are benefits that make it worth quitting. "He who has a why can bare for almost any how". So- think about your dreams in life, and ask yourself how quitting will benefit you.

This shifts the focus from you STRUGGLING to quit, to now BENEFITING from abstaining. This also boosts your discipline like crazy since it's a lot easier to view things logically.

Also, you will end up falling back into addiction if you have no clue what you are going to spend your time on. I replaced the time and energy by mainly pursuing entrepreneurship, along with other things like sports, working out, reading, sleeping more, so on and so forth.

I suggest having one key passion to devote most of your time to, and then doing other healthy or enjoyable things on the side.

3- CUES AND RESPONSE

This is by far the easiest part of the journey. The habit loop consists of 4 parts: Cue -> Craving -> Response -> Reward (Craving is sometimes omitted since it's closely linked to reward, but yeah)

Purpose handles craving and reward, but now let's focus on what TRIGGERS you to start the ROUTINE of the habit.

In order to eliminate cues, which is once again stupidly simple, you need to CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT. For example, I simply put my phone in a drawer instead of on the table, and boom- my triggers for my phone addiction fell by roughly 50%. All because my phone was out of sight.

Don't believe me? What if I told you that 95% of American soldiers addicted to heroin during the Vietnam War were able to easily quit as soon as they came back home?

So- think about your cues- and find a way to remove them from your life. Be strict with this. Don't come up with excuses.

And finally, to reduce your response to bad habits, INCREASE FRICTION. This is basically adding more steps to complete before indulging in your addiction. The idea behind this is that when your brain realizes that effort is needed to do something, it puts it off and procrastinates. And yes- this applies to the things we want to quit as well.

As soon as I read about this from Atomic Habits- I implemented it and understood that the human brain is pretty simple. And silly.

So just make your bad habit harder to do. For example, I kept the controller to my gaming console in another room, and deleted the apps on my phone. The added effort and time needed to indulge now made my brain crave these things less. TRY THIS FOR YOURSELF, PLEASE.

Alright, I spent about half an hour writing everything above, and I really do hope it helps.

My DMs are open if you need anything. Take action, and all the best ahead.