“I have two rules for getting in a fight,” my mom tells me.
“Rule number one: take off your glasses. Rule number two: don’t punch people with braces.”
“You did that?” I ask.
“I bet it hurt more for the other guy, but damn. It really messes up your knuckles.”
“And I can imagine getting punched would mess up your glasses,” I reply.
She takes a sip of wine.
“I always know that if the glasses come off, someone’s hitting the ground. That’s all I have to say.”
My mother—an eternal risk-taker, authentic as hell, and intimidating in that “you have to meet her” sort of way.
I swear, every time I speak to her I learn something new.
There is so much I don’t know.
But now I can say my mother has taught me three things:
Take off your glasses. Don’t punch people with braces. Don’t get high on your own supply.
The last one is a quote from Scarface but she taught me that, too.
You just have to meet her.
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