What is something you wish you had known sooner?

That I would upset a lot of people.

I remember that day very clearly, my friend in 6th standard and I were having lunch in school when I asked her, “Hey… what’s something that you surely never want to do before you die.”

She thought for some time and didn’t get an answer, “Anyways, you tell me while I think about it.” ”I think… I only thing I never want to do is to make anyone upset. I want to go to my deathbed knowing that everyone was happy with me.”

She nodded and agreed.

I grew up wanting one thing.

To make sure everyone is happy with me.

Soon enough I failed in math for the first time.

Failure.

And my parents were upset about the PTM for the first time.

I abandoned my dream of being a doctor because we couldn’t afford the tuition.

Failure.

I was upset, my parents and of course all those relatives who already started calling me a doctor.

I moved out of the house as soon as I turned 18 to work.

Failure.

My grandparents were upset.

My Alcoholic dad was upset.

I put on eyeliner.

Failure.

My relatives were upset.

I was looking too “inviting.”

I started making money and made sure that my mom didn’t have to sell any more jewellery.

Failure.

Aunts were upset.

They didn’t have anyone to mock because I took away their daily entertainment of making fun of my mother.

I used to talk a lot growing up.

Failure.

“Damn someone listen to her or she will hit you! how much she has to talk!”

I gulped my words away and stopped talking too much and just focused on myself.

Failure.

My whole family was upset.

“She has gotten an attitude now, she doesn’t even want to talk. This is why girls should never make money.”

Long story short.

It’s not your job to make sure no one gets upset with you.

But it is your job to make sure that you’re happy with yourself and where you are.