What are some of the lessons one should definitely learn at their 20s?

People used to tell me that your 20s are “the best years of your life”, but I don’t think that’s true.

Your 20s are some of the most challenging years of your life.

Here are 10 things you need to learn in your 20s to be “living your best life” by your 30s.

Money is easier to spend than it is to make. Work takes time. It either takes a long time to build high-income skills, or it takes a long time to make because of your hourly rate. Spending, on the other hand, can be done by impulse. Learn how to manage money in your 20s.

You’re screwing up and you don't realize why. Most people don’t purposely screw up their own lives, but we all make mistakes. We all do dumb things. This is why you must do inner work in addition to outer work. Figure out your own “mental blocks” and aim to work past them.

You will fail and it will have nothing to do with you. Sometimes, you fail because you screwed up. That sucks, and you need to learn from it. Other times, however, you fail for other reasons. This is why it’s good to never take any failure (even the ones that are your fault) too seriously. Get good at bouncing back.

Habits in your 20s set the tone for the rest of your life. Most 20-somethings in my experience don’t have great sleep habits or great diets, and they aren’t disciplined about good “self-care”. They either work too much or play too much. Learn to have balance, and learn to have good habits. Your future self will thank you.

No one really knows what they’re doing. When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I thought that “adults knew what they were doing with their lives”. That’s not true. Career changes happen at all ages. Some people live their whole lives without ever being fulfilled. Everyone ages, but not everyone figures out life.

Dreams never go away. When I was younger, I thought that eventually, I’d “have kids and give up on my dreams”. That’s not how it works. Those strong yearnings for achievement and experience never go away — it’s just that priorities change.

You will lose people in your 20s (and throughout your life). Last week, I spent some time with one of my best friends from high school, who I met in the 6th grade. He’s probably the only high school friend I still keep in touch with. People will come and go throughout your life. This is why it’s important to cherish those who manage to stay.

Feeling lost is normal. It also doesn’t really go away. Feeling lost, a lot of people think, is a sign that they’re doing something “wrong”. Through experience, I’ve learned that feeling lost is just part of being human. I mean, for crying out loud, we’re talking monkeys flying through the cosmos on a giant rock! Learn to feel lost and keep living anyway.

Instead of outcomes, chase skills. When I started writing, I wanted to be considered “a successful author”, so I just wrote a bunch of crap online hoping people would see my talent. This is a bad approach, but I think social media makes all of us a bit more concerned with outcomes than inputs. Focus on developing skills, not seeming a certain way.

The more you look for “happiness”, the less you’ll find. Instead, seek moments of stillness of the mind. Cooking with loved ones, training your favorite martial art, or writing fun little essays like this in a coffee shop. Don’t look for happiness, look for “flow”. If you do that, you’ll live a very happy life — regardless of your age.