How do I know when I have started growing old?

I'm not that old, just in my early 50s, but I have already noticed a few things. One of my son's friends, who is 15 years old, was wearing an Iron Maiden T-shirt. It reminded me of when I saw them perform live in 1985. The kid didn't seem to know they were not a new band, and his reaction was quite funny. The next time I saw him, he was wearing an AC/DC T-shirt, but my wife wouldn't allow me to talk to him, as she thought I was trying to scare him. My attempts to explain that Angus Young once sweated on me in 1983 didn't help either.

I have noticed changes in my hair, both less on top and more in other places. Sadly, as my hair thinned on top, my eyebrows started getting bushy and sticking out of my nose. The stylists at the hair cutting place began asking if I wanted them trimmed. I would jokingly say I was trying to look like Andy Rooney, but the young stylist didn't understand who that was. Eventually, I gave in and let them be trimmed.

When getting my hair cut, my stylist recommended using purple shampoo to enhance the shine of my silver or white hair. After purchasing the recommended products, my spouse teased me about being gullible and having a crush on my young stylist.

Sometimes it feels like people aren't listening or don't care about what I have to say. When I ask if they were not listening or did not care, they insist they do care but struggle to remember the details. It's frustrating and can make me feel uneasy.

People often ask why I seem angry, but I assure them that it is just a result of aging. As you get older, your face starts to sag, and you cannot help but look stern.

My joints have been giving me trouble, especially after my hip replacement. Other joints are starting to act up as well, thanks to arthritis. I once joked to a nurse at my doctor's office that if I lived long enough, I might turn into Steve Austin, the Bionic Man. Unfortunately, she had no idea who that was, and my attempt at imitating the show's sound effects fell flat.

Family members and friends sometimes finish my stories for me, and there are times when people claim I said or did something I know I didn't. It's frustrating when I misplace important items and can't find them for years.

AARP keeps sending me solicitations in the mail, even though I won't be retiring for another 15 years. I suggest they send their mailings to actual retirees or include scratch-off lottery tickets to make it more interesting.

Recent mailings I've received have been about 'Supplemental Term Life Insurance' and 'Prepaid Funeral Services.' It's ironic because I recently saw a vulture, and it feels like the vulture is waiting for me.

Visiting an amusement park that I enjoyed as a child, I find that the rides I loved are either closed for repairs or have been replaced with something that seems dangerous. The health warnings posted outside the rides suddenly apply to me.

As my parents and children grow older, I realize that I am not aging at the same pace.

I have started to appreciate the little things in life and become more aware of the passing of time. I find myself thinking about the past more than the future.

Whenever I get upset about a news or political topic, my loved ones remind me when there are children around. They worry about what I might say, but I believe that knowing how to use certain words effectively is important for future voters.

I have noticed that people often call me 'Sir' now. It used to bother me more when clerks did it, but now it's mostly strangers in parking lots or stores. I tell myself that it means I am finally earning some respect, but deep down, it feels more like pity.

All of these reminders of aging need to stop, or else I might end up using my cane on the next kid who calls me 'Sir'.